How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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