I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
