I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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