3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
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