Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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