You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
