She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
