it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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