Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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