Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
