I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
