I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
smell my finger.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
