theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
