wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i was born a porn star she said
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
