We're facebook friends in real life
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
