Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
