sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
