marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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