dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
