i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
