Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
