Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
