i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
