Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
