I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
