He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Girls should come with a carfax report
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize