mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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