I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
