I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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