the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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