when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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