Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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