PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
