i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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