matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
