He is an equal opportunity slut.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
