Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
