Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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