OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Don't tell me you're on acid again
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
