ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
