Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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