:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
