I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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