john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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