I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
