Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
