You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
is that a dick in a sweater?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
