i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
