how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
