I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
