i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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