he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
