You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
