yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
