I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
