well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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