Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
