Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Mom said you looked used
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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