Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
YAS. BRING CRAB.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
