I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
