tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
is that a dick in a sweater?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
