She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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