you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
