I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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