somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
babies were throwing up all over the place
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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