he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
