I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
