You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
