is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
