Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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