We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
