who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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