How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
