I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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