Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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